Black

My eyes scan each person, watching them.
I find each one of their faults.
I judge them, ignore them.

For I shall ignore them if this is all they showed me,
I shall hate them if they never even tried to show love,
I shall hurt them harsher then they ever hurt me.

I despise the smiles and laughs from them.
They all seem so happy. Their lives are perfect.
But me, no, I am nothing.
I will never know what they did.

They will live on, never knowing I was there,
And I shall wither away in the dark caverns of my empty soul.

They are too ignorant to know pain, they are too free.
While they eat, and play, and love,
I am bound in chains by the remorse and dread of my sorrow and self-pity that I have conjured a cell with.

I can never escape this cell,
For my chains are too strong, and the door has no key.
Even if I am to escape,
A ghost of the past shall linger,
Hurting and reminding, tearing the feelings of joy, until it has eaten my heart and left in rotten, unable to love ever again.

I can not fix what has happened,
I am far gone,
No one can save me now.

The only thing that I now have the power to do,
Is to watch the colors fly by,
And to hate them,
And to hide away,
Alone,
Until I am driven to madness and my eyes are shut for good.